A rescue is waiting
Do you ever feel like life is just a pit and you are just waiting for the dirt to be thrown down to bury you? Or like all you ever do is climb a hill and when you get to the top instead of a valley of rest there is just another hill? Or like a jug under a stream of water waiting to be filled, but never getting there because water is just leaking out the hole in the bottom?
Sometimes in life it feels like everyone you know is so happy and cheerful and everything in life is going right for them. It makes you feel like you want to hide in your bed with the blankets pulled up over your head so no one can see you and you don’t have to look at anyone. But life has a way of not stopping and hiding in your bed just isn’t an option. So you get up, slap on a “happy” face and pretend that you too are just as wonderful and cheerful as everyone else seems to be.
Throughout your day you look for sources of inspiration, hoping against hope that something, anything will lift you out of this funk. The pain in the pit of your stomach gnaws at you, never giving you a moment of peace. You yell at the kids and berate yourself for being such a bad parent. You give your spouse the stink eye and wonder why for the hundred millionth time they haven’t done that simple little thing you asked them to do last month. You pray and pray that neither your mother nor mother-in-law will call or just stop over because if they do you will definitely do or say something you’ll regret later. In fact, the best idea is to simply turn the deadbolt and break the doorbell so no unwanted friend or prayer warrior will know you are home or be able to get in should they sense movement behind your heavily curtained window. But, at least that would be better than a ‘frenemie’ stopping by. You know the type, all smiles and well wishes to your face, all back-stabbing gossip to your back. Better idea even seems to be put the kids in their room, throw in a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter and lock the door. Then maybe you can turn off your phone and hide under those covers.
It seems like even though they say they do, no one really understands what you are going through, because you don’ t even know. Be assured, everyone has some of these skeletons buried in their closets. And as much as you want to disappear you feel an intense loneliness too. Your heart is breaking to just purge this feeling from your body. At your very core you want to smile a real smile and know that everything is going to be okay.
Sure you’ve read all the scriptures. You’ve prayed and sung until you are hoarse and you have ABOSULTELY NOTHING left. And still you are sitting in a compost heap and have no way to get out. Life still seems stinky. Still you are waiting for something. You cry out -God, can’t You hear me? Are You really there? Mercy, have mercy on me. I have nothing left. I am all alone. I thought You were supposed to be a loving God. Do You just not love me? Why can’t I feel You? Why can’t I hear You? Help, somebody help.
Then exhausted you wait. You sit in the stillness, having nothing left to quiet the anger, rage, frustration and hurt. And now, you can know. For the Bible does say in Psalm 46:10a Be still and know that I am God. Great you think as I you read what I am writing…another scripture. This one is special. It was written by someone who has truly been where you are. They know the truth of what you are lying in. They felt the pain that you feel. They wrote this psalm from the other side to encourage you that you can come to the other side too.
Just be still my dear friend. Just be still. There is nothing you can do to change your circumstances. Sometimes, you just don’t have the strength left to climb out of the pit. Even though you don’t feel it you are loved. God is real. God really does love you. Let yourself go. Get to the end of it all. I am here if you need a dumping ground. I have been there myself. You are not a failure because of where you are at. You have just fallen. Let it all out and in that place you will find the stillness. In that stillness you will find a way out. In the stillness you will find God. My prayer for you is that you find the stillness today and wake up tomorrow in a new place. A rescue is waiting.