Something beautiful…someone beautiful
Tags: confusion, Cousin Beth, He holds us all, questions, share love, Something beautiful, something good, treasure the life around you
Dear Ones -
If you grew up in a Christian environment in the 80′s and 90′s like I did you know a lot of simple little songs or hymns that are overflowing with heartfelt meaning. My kids actually have a lot of tapes (yes, actual cassette tapes) with a good portion of these songs on them. I actually find this to be a blessing because I get to hear all this music and get reminded of my childhood. And every once in a while one of those songs jumps out at me and says “why don’t you add me to your repertoire?”
Today I heard the song “Something Beautiful, Something Good.” I know I needed to hear this song today. I have really been struggling the last little while. My cousin is very sick and yesterday I was told that very soon she will be joining Jesus in a face to face way. To be honest my heart is breaking. Perhaps you remember the videos from last year of Cousin B. and my mom riding office chairs down the street at our garage sale. So vibrant, so full of life. She truly is someone beautiful. It is never easy to lose someone from your life and often the prospect fills you with confusion. I know I have confusion as to why it seems God is about to take her home. I know she will be out of pain and for that I would rejoice. Why won’t He take the pain away here and now? I don’t know. I don’t have answers for this stuff. I know this is the kind of stuff Ann Voscamp refers to as “the hard eucharisteo”.
So, today when I heard this song and was reminded that He understands all my confusion and He is here with me I was comforted. He is the one who holds the answers to all my questions. He is the one who takes the pain and turns it into something beautiful. I am reminded that He is the fixer of broken-ness. I don’t have answers today. I may not ever have answers on this one. But I know I can trust Him. His love truly holds us all.
My Dear Beth -
I know that you may not read this, but I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. I love the sense of exploration you always live with. I love your beautiful smile that lights up a whole room. I love that you have always been so generous with all that you are. I love the way you question everything. You encouraged me to be the same. You encouraged me to look into raw eating and experiment with flavors and tastes. I can’t believe that I like chocolate avocado pudding. You’ve encouraged me to find more words to explain what I believe. You’ve encouraged me to listen more to others about what they believe. I am a more open person because of you. Thank you so much for your love. I still pray for a miracle and am trusting God that His miracle will bring you true peace. I love you.
Something Beautiful, Something Good (click title for youtube link)
Something beautiful, something good
All my confusion He understood
All I had to offer Him was brokeness and strife
But he made something beautiful of my life
If there ever were dreams
That were lofty and noble
They were my dreams at the start
And hope for life’s best were the hopes
That I harbor down deep in my heart
But my dreams turned to ashes
And my castles all crumbled, my fortune turned to loss
So I wrapped it all in the rags of life
And laid it at the cross.